...lagos na wa...

...i didnt send in any entry this morning - i got to work at 9.30am...traffic!
yesterday, i left the office at 6.20pm. I reached home at about 10.45pm...How long can i go on like this? I'm supposed to be starting ICAN and finishing up my ICSA examinations - but what time do i really have to study?

...Lagos na wa!...

I have to run.

God help us all!

...He confides in me...

...i have realized that my struggle to make this a secular blog is failing by the day...i am again compelled to speak about the Great I AM...

...recently, i have had a lot of dreams and semi-visions. The semi-visions, i have so called because, they are always very short and quick to dissapear that they almost leave me wondering (aside from the strong conviction in my spirit), if i had actually seen anything at all...

...two days ago, I decided i was just going to praise God rather than pray and i started singing all the woship songs i knew in all the languages i could muster courage to speak...I did this while i got ready to go to work...i continued all the way into the BRT bus and then had to continue the singing under my breath...I felt the presence of GOD (and even if i did not feel it, i would have known HE was right there cos His word says HE cannot resist the praise of His people)...

For a split second, i stopped singing and looked up and there before my eyes, was the scenario of a horse approaching a Rock. A distance away from the rock, the horse halted and raised its front legs up and "neighed" really loudly. It refused to proceed any further. While I was still trying to ponder on what the scenario meant, a handwriting appeared and wrote, "This is the same way the enemy halts when..." - And the vision dissapeared without the write up being completed. At the same time, the words were completed in my spirit man - "This is the same way the enemy halts when they see the rock. You can become the rock by praising, focusing and worshipping the rock...by this, you become a split image of the Rock and the enemies/challenges/issues of life will NOT approach you..." - Of course i have paraphrased a lot of what i heard but you get the picture...

I looked around me and i knew that no one else had seen the vision i had seen - God had revealed a secret and a mystrey to me...

... On thursday, i had a dream that my pastors son was kidnapped. I awoke and began to pray. I prayed with a bit of laxity (i must confess) as my pastor is a renowned prophet and i knew that God would reveal to her if anything was about to happen. On Sunday, i got to church and there was my pastor giving a testimony that her husband's brother's son was kidnapped on Friday...God had revealed yet another secret to me...

...i could go on and on about the dreams, visions and semi-visions but i would save that for another day. The Bible says He confides in those who fear Him and I wonder- How does the God of all flesh, the HOLY of all holies, the LORD of Lords and the KING of kings pick interest in me. A flawed me? A me who has committed sin timelessly? A me who could be so lethargic with prayers? He has revealed a lot to me about my life.... He has confirmed prophecies. He has led me to reject prophecies...He has looked at my heart. For in the heart of this flawed individual, there is no one else i love as HE!

God bless us all!!!

...im desprate for you...

...i woke up this morning and dusted out one of my Michael Smith CDs... When the song "im lost without you" started playing, i realized how meaningless my existence would be without God... and so, this entry is to the Lord and Love of my life...

Dear Lord,

I worship you. I adore you. Im grateful to you. For loving me the way you do. For giving your life for me. I cannot thank you enough... You've kept me Lord and i am grateful. Despite the challenges, the loneliness and the chaos, your reassuring whispers have continued to sustain me - Thank you! Thanks for who and what you are to me. Thanks for what you represent in my life. Thanks that you love me cos that means a lot to me. Thank you for all the prayers you have not answered. Thanks for those you have. Thanks for the confirmations and the revelations...Thank you Lord.

I have no requests for you this morning. Just to appreciate you. You are the i am that I am. You are the bright and the morning star. The Lily of the Valley. The Lion of the Tribe of Tehila, The one who sits in the circles of the earth and the inhabitants are like grasshoppers thereof, the ever living, ever loving God, the one in whom there is no shadow of turning or variablness, the warrior that has NEVER lost a battle, the one before whom the idols of Dagon had no choice but to postrate, the sovreign ochestrator, the Commander in Chief of Heaven's armies, my Lord, My friend, My God - unto you be all the praise, worship and adoration...

...when i look inwards dear father, i realize that if NOT for you who has been by my side, i would have been swallowed up but look at me today, still standing! I am grateful. They looked down on me but you considered me special. They judged me by those mistakes but you shed blood just for me, they have tagged me unworthy of your love but you have qualified me for that same love - how can i ever thank you enough?

Daddy, I'm lost without you! Thank you for who you are to me! I love you Lord!!!!

...all that glitters....

...neither of my two bosses is at work so i may just give you guys the gist of tall, dark and handsome.

I was on my way to Delta state via Benin and the airport was in a mad state. People everywhere, no flights, bribing,...there was just a lot of chaos and i was ill...very ill...so i put down my name in the event that if an auxilliary flight came in, i would be booked on it...

...during the wait, i watched with keen interest, the innate corruption of my nigerian brethren. People were offering all sorts of bribes, telling all sorts of lies and just generally being themselves in order to get into one of the already fully booked flights...i was too ill to participate so i just sat and stared...

...then i saw him...tall, dark, handsome and dressed in "caftan". My first prayer to God was, dear Lord, let him not be a muslim...(NOT BECAUSE I HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST ISLAM, BUT COS I HAD FOUND MY HUSBAND....LOL!) Silly me. Unfortunately, he did not even look my direction and i was too ill to get him to notice me so i gave up and concluded (in the typical nigerian "if you don't get him, he is bad for you" mentality) that he was a muslim.

...i finally got into the flight and there he was offering to take my bag up into the compartments above the seats and being very nice. We sat together and just hit it off. He was not only christian but born again, spirit filled, tongue talking, worker in church...to me God had sent the answers to my 4 year prayers...

...we kept in touch. i returned to lagos and he asked to see me and we went out. And then he asked me out, i couldn't believe my good fortune and then he said to me "...you know that relationship must involve sex now? I'm not in Secondary School you know? All this your spiri coco will not stop us o. We must do..."

...The fast nice music in my head began to slow down as if the "tape" was spoilt. You know that sound...my mouth fell open. Now please note:

1. its not that it was a big deal that a born again tongue talking believer (who had previously condemned every unbeliever on earth to hell and damnation)was talking so unabashedly about sex;

2. Or that it was unnatural for a man's flesh to get in the way of his spirit...

it was just the way he said it and the aftermath. Of course i refused. For me, its one thing if you go into a relationship and then FALL into sin. Its a totally different thing if you go into a relationship hinged on sin,thereby WALKING into sin. I refused and he decided that there was no need for us even to be friends...can you beat that?

...he called me a few more times to ask if i had changed my mind but you know now? Even if i had...EGO!!! PRIDE!!! DIGNITY!!! where would i keep those??? LOL!!!

...i will wait for my man. While i am waiting, i will not grieve the one who would bring my man to me... Sometimes, when i sit and think about him, how i hyped his being a believer. how i hyped his being tall dark and handsome, i realize the wisdom of the ages reflected in the words of the elders and i concur that all that glitters isn't usually gold!!

God help us all!

..of the president being alive, the crazy okada shuttle to work and many others....

...its a brand new day. i woke with a laugh - i wonder why...

i hear the president is alive - thank you Jesus! I wish him and the entire country well but i am getting kinda bored with all the talk about him so...

...i wonder how all them "big girls" cope.

Big girls don't take "okada".

Big girls don't take buses.

How much do they earn? Haba!

For me not only are the okadas more convenient in this crazy Lagos traffic but they are much cheaper than the taxi cabs aka "drops". Working with K*** is supposed to have altered my mentality about all these things abi? Sadly, it hasn't. I'm still an unrepentant okada patronizer....

Let me give you how my typical work day starts. My alarm goes off at 4am and i angrily mute its annoying sharp and shrilly sound. I decide to sleep for a few more minutes and then wake up and find that i slept for one more hour. I fly to the bathroom, do all the necessaries (including the morning devotion, which continues all the way to work) and then move out to the road and take the first "okada." The first okada drops me at the BRT Bus Park. I board an air conditioned Bus to my next stop and then take the next "okada" to a road not too far from K***. This is because at K***, image is everything and i cannot be seen flying off an okada - i was actually lectured on this on my first day....

...im a bit bored with my daily routine so let me not bore you as well....

...i listened to a message as i got ready for work today (Thank you PHCN) and i just thought i should share one major truth Pastor Chris Oyakhilome shared with me... He said "your words determine your position in life"....and i thought about how true it was. What do i say when i am going through challenges? Can i count how many times i have called my self lonely? Broke? Sad? Down? Poor? When i should have been confessing that i was settled! Joyful! Upbeat! Rich? I have made a committment to myself that no matter how bad things seem, i will continue to speak that which the LORD has said i am. Therefore i declare that i am settled on all sides! I am bouyant! I am rich! I am joyful and i can do all things through HIM who strengthens me...

...remember. He said "That which i HEAR YOU SAY, that will i do.."

God bless us all!!!

...my president...

...the rumours have just filtered into the office that my president is dead...i'm hoping that it is not true...

these rumours have been on and off for like 2 months now and still no one knows what really is happening. The hospital in Saudi Arabia released a report ages ago that he was no longer in their custody - where then is my president? Where have they taken him to? What really is the matter with him? What is the essence of all this hide and seek? Who are these people bent on holding on to his position even when it is obvious that he is really really ill?

i really do hope that he is not dead... i do not like death....

dead or not, yaradua's absence raises serious issues for our nation. Our president was missing for 50 days and nothing was done or said by anyone? Invisible forces seemed bent to perpetuate him in power even when it was obvious that the burden was too much on him....

....im no longer coherent - even to myself....

i hope to God that my president is alive. it makes things easier and leaves fewer people sad...

God help us all!!

http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/view/136017

N.B. ...on a lighter note, if it is true that my president is indeed dead, we must all reconsider naming (or plan to name)our kids "Goodluck" - his name has indeed followed him o!!

...better late than never...

It was one of those nights again...no light...(Thank you PHCN)....no company and a lot of time for the idle thoughts to start dancing in and out of my head....i wonder why i still let them after all these years...

...This is my year. of favour. of new beginnings. of settlement. of joy and of blogging. Ezindu Ukegbu's blog really inspired me. I will blog this year. This blog will be my friend, my confidant and my friend (im repeating my self again abi?)

...i have concerns for my nation. My president is missing, Power supply (as impossible as this may sound) is worsening, Abdulfaruk or whatever his name is has succeeded in making it even more difficult for us as a nation, things just seem to be going wrong...

Speaking of Faruk (is that his name sef?) i just wonder how his father feels about all of this... i really sympathize with "Daddy Faruk". God help us to train our children aright!!

There's a lot to talk about on this blog - the relationships, the religious "sex-lovers", the lack of the relationships, the spiritists, the jobs, the friends, the envy, church, the gosip, the politics...theres a lot...and there is a lot of time...

so, welcome to my blog. I have started late - 11 days into the year but like they say, better late than never....

God bless us all!