Tuesday, March 30, 2010

the old rugged cross

when i survey
the wondrous cross
on which the prince
of glory died
my richest gain
i count but loss
and pour contempt
on all my pride....

Monday, March 29, 2010

...2nd Chance...

The awesome thing about GOD is HIS ability to pick you up, and turn your life around irrespective of what people think, say or even know...

Thanks for giving me a second chance Dear Lord.

I know you have given me a second chance over a trillion times but thanks for this one...

indeed your mercies are new every morning!

I am in love with you!

Help my mind!

I bring ALL thoughts captive in line with your WORD...

Thank you!

...the battle for (and in) my mind

Dear Lord,

It has been really difficult in the last two weeks.
There has obviously been a battle in my mind (or for my mind)
Little wonder HE drew my attention to Collosians 3 - Set your mind on things above...
It has been a struggle.
The impasse with Maero and all the obvious "unfriendly ITS friends" did not help matters.
sometimes i just feel like screaming!
or waking up and finding out that that is a huge bad bad bad nightmare!
But it isn't
And you have told me why -
Becuase the trial of my faith worketh patience!
Because i must be purified by the fire to become Gold
Because as long as i continue to fail the exam of total reliance and dependence on God irrespective of my feelings, i will continue to repeat the class
Thank you for 2nd Corinthians 10.
Thank you for Ephesians 6
Thank you for opening them to me in a new light!
Thank you because every thought that refuses to be subjected to the pattern it should be is brought down this morning in the name of Jesus!
I begin a 3 day fast today to mark the end of the month of Glory -
Empower me Lord!
Strengthen me!
Keep my mind stayed on you!
Speak to me!
Confide in me as you have always done!
Bless me!

Thank you for your availability.
I will return to give you praise...
i love you with all of me!!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

What kind of man are u looking for?(Thanks a lot bukky)

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?'

Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes.

She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position
to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself?

I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...
or woman for that matter.

I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money.
I need something more.

I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.

She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because
I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need
to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't
need a financial burden.

I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as
a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and
game-playing are not my idea of a strong man.

I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest
and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.

I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must
respect him.

I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I
have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.

And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognize
himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will
always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man
I can't help a man if he can't help himself.

When she finished her spill, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot.

She replied, "I'm worth a lot".

Send this to every woman who's worth a lot.... and every man who has the
brains to understand!!!

akwukwo nke di m

Dear u,

Good morning.
I trust that you slept well....
i miss u.
it gets worse these days.
the intensity of my feelings.
the yearning in my heart to eventurally meet you.
i no longer pray about meeting you...
but the anxiety is still hovering around in my heart.
i have made a few mistakes - thinking some other people were u.
it always ended up in hurt for me....
i am waiting.
i know u are out there.
i know cos God has said that with good things will he fufill my desires...
i know u are a "good thing".
In this period of waiting, the Creator has been moulding me into who i should be to you....
most times, the cast breaks and he starts all over again but so far so good.
i miss u.
people say u cant miss what u never had but i know because you are a part of my destiny, i have had you since the day i was conceived sometime in June of 1983 (i think).
i miss u....
i have all of me to give you....
at a stage, i knew i would give of myself more to you than i would have given to God....
but He taught me other wise.
He taught me that i wholly belonged to Him and He would give me as a "loan staff" to you.
i accept.
i love you.
perfections, imperfections and all.
i love you.
you are everything i have always wanted and more.
you intoxicate me.
you make me "high".
Thank you for accepting this call to be mine!
Thank you for wiping the secret tears away.
Thank you for being the answer to my prayers...
Thank you for loving me the way you will.

The Children are coming soon.
God has shown me the girl.
i hope she will be your favourite.
She is so pretty and i love her already!
She will be a woman after the heart of God...
she will excell above and beyond her peers.
Her name will be heard nationally and internationally for great acomplishments....
she will eat at Royal Tables.
She will announce us her parents to the world...

The sons will also come - as many as God wills us to have.
they too will be blessed.
Like the Bible says, they shall be taught of the Lord Himself and GREAT shall be our peace...

i know its only a matter of time now...
i will show u this note...
we will re-define the word love...

till we meet my darling, may the Lord keep u.
May He increase you.
May He protect you and may He mould you into ALL that He desires for you to be.

Lots of love,
Your wife!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

...all things work together for my good....

it sure doesnt feel like it
but this too
shall work for my good!

The pain from the betrayal is blinding
the innocence of the betrayer is frustrating
the feeling of indignity is belittling
but all these will work for my good.

The Lord is an ever present help.
He is my balm in gillead
He is the one who loves me just the way i am
He keeps me at his right hand.

i will bless the Lord at all times
His praise will continually be in my mouth
In the Lord my soul shall make its boast
He assures me and i believe that this too shall pass....

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

shortest story ever

i thought we were on the same page.
we were not.
he likes my friend.
so do i.
i give them my support.
life goes on.
lesson learnt.....
...what lesson is this really?...

The end!

Monday, March 22, 2010

O The Love of the Father

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the privilege of being alive.
Your word says i slept and awoke because you sustained me.
Thak you for sustainance.
If not for you on my side, determined to bring me into the purpose i was created, I would have been long gone!
Thank you for keeping me!
When i sit and attempt to understand and demistify this "love" that you have for me, i end up more puzzled and confused as i was before i started.
Lets focus on Saturday. That was deliberate. I knew it was wrong. Yet i went ahead. I hurt you.
I was selfish.
Very selfish.
All the while, i knew i was hurting you but i just couldn't stop or let go. Is the issue a weakness on my part? Greed? Too little love for you? I am currently almost frustrated thinking about how stupid i have been to ever hurt you....
Dear Lord, when i prayed last nite, i know you heard me...i am positive...but Satan still seems to be on my shoulder accusing me at every second.
i know i can deal with Satan. Afterall, i am well aware of his tricks and antiques. My issue is me.
i seem to be in a constant struggle these days.
To say the right things.
To study as i should.
To do the right things.
To be in the right places.
To think the right thoughts
To love the right way.
To feel the right things.
To speak to you the way i ought...
God help me.
This is a cry from my heart!
I know you forgave me the second i asked.
But what happens if i do it again?
What happens if i slip and fall yet again?
I never want to frustrate or take advantage of the grace but i need help!
Help me Father!
Help me.
To live a life worthy of you!
Abounding in every good work.
Bearing good fruit!
Help me to look anger,greed,envy,idolatory,rage, compromise and all the rest in the face and say NO!
Help me to flee every appearance of evil!
Give me the strength to stand.....
Give me the ability not to want to go back...cos right now, i really feel that way (Daddy, even if i do not tell you this, i know you know....)
Help me Lord.
Strengthen me.
Give me the strength i need for this journey!
I am getting weary!
I am making too many mistakes...
My eyes have been off the word for a while.....
I need you!
I need you!!
I need you my father!

As i type this, i weep.
It's difficult being different.
It's difficult holding unto the unseen.
It's difficult being who you have made me to be....

Help me Lord. I am weary! Help me.
Thank you for Maxwell. He has been a pillar....
You have obviously used him mightily in my life....
Thank you....

But even Maxwell cannot understand how it feels inside!
Help me.
Not to drag your name to the mud.
Not to falter anymore in this period of waiting.
Not to attempt to help you....
Help me.
To understand that this period of being alone is for a reason.
To understand that the higher you go the lighter you must travel
To understand that you are right there beside me.

The issues seem to be increasing.
But like you spoke to me today through your word, i know that You are a stronghold in times like these...

Help my shortsightedness.
Help me to realize that no one is indispensable.
Help me to stop jumping the gun.
Help me to understand without acrimony that people can make their choices and such choices may not necessarily be me.
Help me to forgive those who do not even have any clue that they have wronged me....

i think again about Cyril's visit.
And i wonder.
Did i carry such anger for 6 years?
What sort of a Christian am i?

Dear Lord, please help me.
Thank you for this love....
This grace so amazing.
This love so divine!
This Love!
O this love....

i love you Father.
From the depths of my being.
You are my lover.
The only one!
The only one!
The only one!

Thank you for everything.

With Love,
Your prodigal daughter now returned!
never to leave your side again....

i love you

Thursday, March 11, 2010



i have looked through these pictures over and over again, trying to find a clue, trying to find a pointer as to why or what triggered this brutality - i am unsuccessful each time.

i am numb.
i can't cry.
i can't explain it.
i can't understand it.
i am just numb.

My mind wonders to the terror the children must have faced being awoken suddenly to see terror unleashed on their parents and being put to a swift and painful end.

I can only imagine how the mothers felt, watching their wailing infants being thrown into fires.

I can only imagine how the husbands watched helplessly as their families were ravaged and plundered and generations wiped out before their very eyes.

i can only imagine.

What sort of human being kills another? And in such a crude and babaric manner?
What were the crimes of the children?

Children who tommorrow could have been the remedy for Nigeia's plight! Children who may have grown to replace and outshine great men and women like the Ganis, Azikiwes, Emegwalis and the likes - these were wiped away with one swipe of the machete...

I have read all sorts of comments. Praying that the perpatrators should die and all of that. I understand everyone's sentiments but i am reminded of the words of the Holy Book in Ephesians 6:12. I will paraphrase

This warefare is not physical. It is a battle against RULERS, AUTHORITIES, POWERS OF THE DARK WORLD and against the SPIRITUAL FORCES of EVIL in the heavenly realms. Satan is fighting through these men. We can NOT tackle them physically. Brain storming, formulation of policies, projections into the political future of Nigeria may help but they are NOT the solution.

Remember 2Corinthians 10:4 - The weapons we fight with are NOT the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have DIVINE POWER to demolish strongholds...

There is a strong hold that we MUST demolish over Nigeria. The only way we can do this is by engaging the spiritual weapons! We must revive our closet ministries! We must begin to pray for Nigeria like we pray for our deepest and most secret needs!
We MUST! There is a strongman that must be bound....

Collective and general prayers are very good but we must go into our closets and commune with the One with whom the power and authority lies! These strongholds MUST come down!

Dear Lord,

i pray with every heart reading and believing that you take full control of this polity. i pray in the name of Jesus that every strong man, every hindering force, every destructive spirit holding sway in the North loses their hold in the name of Jesus. I enthrone Jehova Shalom (our peace) as God over Nigeria in the name of Jeus!

Have mercy on us Lord! We love you!

in Jesus name. Amen

....Remember, revive your intercessory closet ministry. If one believer could prevent the rains for three years, you can make the difference in the NORTH and in Nigeria.

...The end is almost here. Interecede for all believers!

I love you!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

...the end of the Daniel's Fast...

Today marks the end of my ten day daniel's fast as instructed by the LORD! It was an awesome experience. God spoke practically everyday of this fast....

Dear Lord,

Thank you.
for the strength.
For the Love.
For the instructions.
For the directions.
For the confirmations
For the distinctions.
For everything.

I love you. You are all i ever dreamt of having as a friend, Lord and Master. You are the air that i breathe. I am lost without you!

Thank you.
For the secrets.
For the promises.
For the love.
For the restructuring
For the reformation
For the glory
For the favour
For the promotion
For the new...

You are doing a new thing. It has begun....
Thank you.